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Mikaela Önnelind

Att ändra beteende

Hej på er!

Jag vill öppna mig om hur svårt det är att ha en emessionell instabil personlighetsstörning.

Borderline som är det gamla namnet på sjukdommen gör så att man gör saker man inte riktigt kan styra över som sätter en i situationer som kan va farliga och saker man kan få mycket ångest över och man har inte lika lätt att ”lära sig” vad som va dumt och inte när man har sjukdommen. Jag vet att jag inte vill göra vissa saker men just när jag är i en situation som inte är bra för mig så händer det ofta att mig impulsivitet tar över. Det är som att beskriva det att man inte tänker ett steg längre dom gångerna som en frisk person oftast skulle göra. Eftersom jag ändå vill ha ett privat liv och hålla dessa saker hemliga så vill jag inte berätta vad jag gör för misstag. Det hålöer jag för mig själv. Jag är ju under utredning för adhd och borderline, dock är borderlinen preliminär just nu. Jag är dock helt säker på och läkarna med att jag har denna sjukdom och även adhd. Men nu är jag på ett ställe där jag får hjälp att ”landa” efter helgens händelser som jag inte vill gå in mer på.

Jag kommer att få DBT och KBT så småning om, dessutom ska jag gå på hypnos.

Så en sak som är säker är ju att jag kommer att klara av att hantera mina känslor bättre med hjälp av psykriatrin.

Tur att det ändå är 2016 och inte 1940 och skamligt med psykiska besvär längre. Tycker fler borde tala öppet om detta och dela med sig i syfte för att hjälpa andra.

Jag ska även berätta lite om hur ddt är att hela tiden känna sig rastlös och lätt irreterad och att inte kunna styra över sina känslo uttryck vilket beror på ADHD.

Till exempel om jag är i en situation jag känner inte är rolig alls igentligen utan i stället helt hemsk och sorglig kan jag börja flina.. för att jag har svårt att visa mina känslor utåt. Jag har svårt att visa utåt hur jag känner inåt så att säga. Och att hela tiden känna rastlöshet och stress för att hela tiden behöv göra något. Svårt att konsentrera mig i diskutioner och dylikt också.

Jag är glad över att jag inte skär mig osv vilket många andra med borderline gör pågrund av detta destruktiva liv. Jag skadar mig inte så. Utan utsätter mig för dåliga situationer i mellanåt vilket det ska bli ändring på.

Vad tycker ni om att jag delar med mig av detta? Och inte bara visar skönhetsprodukter och bra sidorna?detta är ju en männsklig självklarhet som är mer eller mindre svår för alla. Alla har ju någon gång perioder man inte känner sig levande i osv..

Tack för attt ni tog er tid att läsa och dela gärna med er av era egna psykiska besvär vad det än är! Anonymt går självklart bra.

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