{"id":1095,"date":"2014-06-17T20:50:09","date_gmt":"2014-06-17T18:50:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/dianac\/?p=1095"},"modified":"2014-06-17T20:50:09","modified_gmt":"2014-06-17T18:50:09","slug":"how-to-love-a-girl-who-doesnt-know-how-to-be-loved","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/dianac\/2014\/06\/17\/how-to-love-a-girl-who-doesnt-know-how-to-be-loved\/","title":{"rendered":"How to love a girl who doesnt know how to be loved!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"OLYMPUS<\/a>
\nWhether we know it or not, we\u2019ve all met some form of the typical \u201cMiss Independent.\u201d
\nSome of us know her better than others; some of us claim that title ourselves.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s the self-sufficient, somewhat mysterious go-getter with big dreams and an even bigger heart, though not everyone sees it at first glance.<\/p>\n

Some might see her as cold and distant, because she needs a significant amount of alone time to keep her from feeling scattered and spread so thin that she disappears. Sure, she has family and friends with whom she loves to spend much of her time, but it\u2019s in her nature to crave those precious hours of solitude\u2014being only with her thoughts, completely alone in a crowd or in the vastness of a quiet scene.<\/p>\n

Some call it antisocial; she calls it sanity.<\/p>\n

For any or all of these reasons and then some, she\u2019s never been the type to \u201cfall in love.\u201d In fact, if she has ever been in a relationship to any degree, it was likely one of the most difficult and confusing things she\u2019s ever experienced\u2014and she\u2019s not usually one to be deterred.<\/p>\n

Perhaps she\u2019s too focused on her goals to realize that love could be knocking on her door, or she\u2019s so comfortable with being in control that the thought of surrendering even a little bit to someone else makes her uneasy. There\u2019s also a chance that, despite her outward confidence and undeniable potential for success, she\u2019s extremely insecure.<\/p>\n

Or, maybe she\u2019s simply afraid of opening herself up enough to be loved.
\nWhatever the reason, it comes down to the fact that this girl probably doesn\u2019t know how to handle the love that a suitor might want to give her. It doesn\u2019t mean she\u2019s a lost cause, it just means that developing any kind of relationship with her will require an approach that\u2019s more sensitive to her guarded heart.<\/p>\n

In an effort to offer some insight, here are a few pointers for learning how to love a girl who doesn\u2019t know how to be loved:<\/p>\n

1. Be patient.
\nDon\u2019t expect her to feel comfortable with diving headfirst into anything even slightly resembling romance. Keep in mind, it\u2019s probably taken her a great deal of contemplation and courage to even consider spending her time with you. And if she does appear comfortable responding to your first moves, it\u2019s quite possible that she\u2019s actually terrified of what you\u2019ll think of her if she asks to slow things down. So, she just musters the strength to submit herself to the moment, only to spend all night feeling horrible about her dishonesty and inability step on the brakes. This will freak her out enough to make her sever whatever ties were made and withdraw immediately\u2014something she\u2019s not afraid to do.<\/p>\n

To avoid that, let things unfold at a pace that feels natural, which might be slower than what\u2019s considered \u201cnormal.\u201d Remember, she\u2019s not used to this, and too much at once will surely send her over the edge. Showing sensitivity to her pace will let her know that she doesn\u2019t have to fear being out of control, causing a miscommunication or feeling the pressure of time.<\/p>\n

2. Talk.
\nBecause she spends so much of her time alone and in her head, this girl might be under the impression that her thoughts and opinions are a bit too intense for others. She rarely shares the things on her mind, as she fears that whatever\u2019s in there is so deep and inquisitive that people will think it\u2019s overdramatic, oddly philosophical or just plain weird. She values deep conversation, but feels that she can exercise this pleasure with relatively few people, if any at all.<\/p>\n

So talk with her. Let her know that she can say what\u2019s on her mind, and don\u2019t be afraid of her ability to dissect every possible meaning of a theory she\u2019s been hung up on for weeks. If she apologizes for rambling about it, tell her she doesn\u2019t need to be sorry, she doesn\u2019t need to suppress it. Make her feel that although she is certainly unique for having such thoughts, she isn\u2019t crazy or abnormal.<\/p>\n

Tell her it makes her all the more beautiful.
\nAnd then, give it right back to her. Be sure to engage in her contemplations just as much as you listen; she wants to hear your thoughts more than you realize.<\/p>\n

3. Support her.
\nPart of this girl\u2019s struggle with letting herself be loved could be that she is relentlessly focused on her dreams and goals, so much so that she forgets to make room in her life for other things\u2014like relationships. It\u2019s not something she does intentionally, she\u2019s just extremely determined to achieve whatever she has set out to do.<\/p>\n

If she is forced to make a choice between a love life and her goals, she\u2019s already chosen the latter. So don\u2019t make her choose.
\nAnd certainly don\u2019t make her feel guilty for not spending more of her time with you as a result\u2014she\u2019ll take that as another sign that she needs to sever the ties, even if they\u2019re stronger at this point.<\/p>\n

Instead, support her. If you really love this girl and she really loves you, then she\u2019ll welcome the encouragement. She\u2019ll want to support you, too. Let her; with a heart as passionate as hers, you\u2019ll want her on your team.<\/p>\n

4. Don\u2019t be two halves of a whole, be two wholes that make an even greater whole.
\nRemember that this \u201cMiss Independent\u201d is just that\u2014an independent chick with an ability to fend for herself. She might even be afraid of relying on others, no matter how much she trusts them.<\/p>\n

Therefore, don\u2019t think of a relationship with her as one that joins two halves together to make a whole; she won\u2019t treat it as such, and she definitely won\u2019t feel comfortable if you do. Rather, see it as two wholes becoming an even greater whole\u2014two individuals who love each other enough to respect the other\u2019s independence and uniqueness.<\/p>\n

This includes honoring her need for alone time. She realizes that you are a person with or without her and asks that you see her in the same way. Being able to spend time apart is important to her; she doesn\u2019t want to rely on your presence, nor does she want you to rely on hers.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t try to spend every hour of every day with her unless you want her to feel so bombarded that she tailspins into a mess of tears, word vomit and utter confusion, ending with her breaking it off and swearing to never interact with another human ever again.<\/p>\n

But when you are together, be together. Completely. Let her know she is loved until she begins to understand what that feels like, and then keep doing it. If it\u2019s right, she\u2019ll come around. And because she\u2019s loyal by nature, she\u2019ll stick around, too (so don\u2019t give her any reason to think that you won\u2019t).<\/p>\n

Truly, this girl has a lot of love to give, even if she\u2019s a bit awkward in showing it at first. She just needs time\u2014time to figure things out for herself, to better understand how this works.<\/p>\n

Let her figure out that deep down, she just wants to love and be loved\u2014just like everyone else.
\nIf she happens to let you close enough to love her, take it seriously. It means she\u2019s trying. It means she wants to love you. And remember that helping her learn how to be loved in return is the surest way to win her heart.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whether we know it or not, we\u2019ve all met some form of the typical \u201cMiss Independent.\u201d Some of us know her better than others; some of us claim that title ourselves. She\u2019s the self-sufficient, somewhat mysterious go-getter with big dreams and an even bigger heart, though not everyone sees it at first glance. Some might … L\u00e4s mer<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5549,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-okategoriserad"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/dianac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/dianac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/dianac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/dianac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5549"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/dianac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1095"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/dianac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1095\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/dianac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/dianac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/dianac\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}