{"id":25156,"date":"2015-11-21T16:23:50","date_gmt":"2015-11-21T14:23:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/?p=25156"},"modified":"2015-11-22T02:35:33","modified_gmt":"2015-11-22T00:35:33","slug":"theres-a-hole-inside-me-and-its-were-you-used-to-be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/2015\/11\/21\/theres-a-hole-inside-me-and-its-were-you-used-to-be\/","title":{"rendered":"There&#8217;s a hole inside me.  And it&#8217;s were you used to be."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>\u00a0M<\/strong> ringde mig idag. F\u00f6r f\u00f6rsta g\u00e5ngen p\u00e5 tre m\u00e5nader. N\u00e4r jag ser hans namn p\u00e5 displayen sl\u00e5r mitt hj\u00e4rta lite snabbare. S\u00e5 m\u00e4rklig k\u00e4nsla att den person som st\u00e5tt dig n\u00e4rmast under den st\u00f6rsta delen av ditt liv, som du ringde flera g\u00e5nger per dag \u2013 kan k\u00e4nnas s\u00e5 fr\u00e4mmande. S\u00e5 m\u00e5nga g\u00e5nger jag klickat hans samtal och t\u00e4nkt\u00a0 &#8221;Det var bara Morgan, jag ringer upp senare&#8221;. Idag \u00e4r han den person jag helst vill h\u00f6ra ifr\u00e5n. Och det h\u00e4nder kanske max tre g\u00e5nger per \u00e5r sedan han skaffade familj. <strong>You dont know what you got until it&#8217;s gone \u00e4r v\u00e4rldens sannaste floskel.<\/strong> Jag hade aldrig sl\u00e4ppt Morgan om jag hade vetat det jag vet idag. Om jag hade haft lite mognad vid 22-\u00e5rs \u00e5lder. Ist\u00e4llet f\u00f6r en rebellisk sj\u00e4l och ett bekr\u00e4ftelsebehov lika stort som Gotland. Om jag inte s\u00e5rat dig p\u00e5 v\u00e4rsta t\u00e4nkbara s\u00e4tt. D\u00e5 hade vi haft en familj nu. Med en ton\u00e5ring. Han eller hon hade br\u00e5kat om hur l\u00e4nge hen skulle f\u00e5 vara ute. Jag hade inte suttit h\u00e4r ensam utan dig. Som tur \u00e4r, \u00e4r jag ingen sj\u00e4lvisk person . Mitt hj\u00e4rta gl\u00e4djs \u00e5t att du \u00e4r gift och har en nyf\u00f6dd dotter. Du \u00e4r den b\u00e4sta pappa n\u00e5gon, n\u00e5gonsin kan f\u00e5.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Men bara n\u00e4r du inte h\u00f6r. V\u00e5gar jag s\u00e4ga s\u00e5.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/files\/2015\/11\/524875_10151280190755993_33828013_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-25159\" src=\"http:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/files\/2015\/11\/524875_10151280190755993_33828013_n.jpg\" alt=\"524875_10151280190755993_33828013_n\" width=\"641\" height=\"443\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/files\/2015\/11\/524875_10151280190755993_33828013_n.jpg 641w, https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/files\/2015\/11\/524875_10151280190755993_33828013_n-300x207.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 641px) 100vw, 641px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0M ringde mig idag. F\u00f6r f\u00f6rsta g\u00e5ngen p\u00e5 tre m\u00e5nader. N\u00e4r jag ser hans namn p\u00e5 displayen sl\u00e5r mitt hj\u00e4rta lite snabbare. S\u00e5 m\u00e4rklig k\u00e4nsla att den person som st\u00e5tt dig n\u00e4rmast under den st\u00f6rsta delen av ditt liv, som du ringde flera g\u00e5nger per dag \u2013 kan k\u00e4nnas s\u00e5 fr\u00e4mmande. S\u00e5 m\u00e5nga g\u00e5nger jag &#8230; <a title=\"There&#8217;s a hole inside me.  And it&#8217;s were you used to be.\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/2015\/11\/21\/theres-a-hole-inside-me-and-its-were-you-used-to-be\/\" aria-label=\"L\u00e4s mer om There&#8217;s a hole inside me.  And it&#8217;s were you used to be.\">L\u00e4s mer<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1767,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personligt","category-skonhet"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1767"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25156"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25156\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/ellenf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}