{"id":261,"date":"2015-04-03T14:19:16","date_gmt":"2015-04-03T12:19:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/finnsbara1\/?p=261"},"modified":"2015-04-08T10:50:45","modified_gmt":"2015-04-08T08:50:45","slug":"hur-gammal-va-jag-nar-jag-klippte-av-mig-haret-och-borjade-anvanda-killklader","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/finnsbara1\/2015\/04\/03\/hur-gammal-va-jag-nar-jag-klippte-av-mig-haret-och-borjade-anvanda-killklader\/","title":{"rendered":"Hur gammal va jag n\u00e4r jag klippte av mig h\u00e5ret och b\u00f6rjade anv\u00e4nda killkl\u00e4der?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Shit vart ska jag b\u00f6rja den h\u00e4r fr\u00e5gan va rolig!
\nJag b\u00f6rjade redan n\u00e4r jag va i 1-2\u00e5rs \u00e5ldern framf\u00f6rallt efter 3 d\u00e5 jag kunde v\u00e4lja kl\u00e4der sj\u00e4lv och det va alltid killkl\u00e4der! Mina f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar kl\u00e4dde ju upp mig som en liten princsessa och i tjej kl\u00e4der men det va ju garanterat mot min vilja. Jag har alltid varit en ”pojk-flicka” ingen visste att jag va transexuell d\u00e5 eller visste mina f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar det? Dom \u00e4lskade mig och accepterade mig oavsett k\u00f6n och identitet det spelade ingen roll. Jag har alltid varit speciell! Sedan tidig \u00e5lder s\u00e5 fanns det tydliga tecken p\u00e5 vem jag va. Jag valde inte att bli flicka jag ville vara pojke och ha snygga killkl\u00e4der och kyssa alla tjejer i skolan.
\nJag va verkligen kille rakt igenom, jag \u00e5kte skateboard, blades, BMX h\u00f6ll p\u00e5 mycket med sporter, mer kill grejer osv. Jag gjorde allt som pojkar anses g\u00f6ra. Jag lekte med lego och action figurer, samlade p\u00e5 hockeybilder. Min syster lekte med barbies och samlade p\u00e5 bokm\u00e4rken. Jag fick va med och leka en g\u00e5ng d\u00e5 klippte jag av h\u00e5ret p\u00e5 alla barbiedockor och tryckte in br\u00f6sten p\u00e5 dom. Ja ni h\u00f6r ju sj\u00e4lva!
\nMin syster och jag delade rum under en tid n\u00e4r vi bodde i v\u00e5rt hus. D\u00e5 hade hon den ”rosa sidan” och spicegirls affischer och jag hade den ”bl\u00e5a sidan” med massa backstreetsboys \u00f6verallt!
\nS\u00e5 j\u00e4vla kul n\u00e4r man t\u00e4nker p\u00e5 det.
\nDet har aldrig lockat mig att vilja vara med tjejerna och leka med dom, jag ville bara h\u00e5lla dom i handen och pussas. Men det kunde man ju inte f\u00f6r det va ju fel och konstigt. Jag attraherades av tjejer redan i 6\u00e5rs. Jag lekte alltid med killar hade mest kill kompisar, sj\u00e4lvklart tjejer ocks\u00e5 upp i ton\u00e5ren. Idag har jag n\u00e4sta bara tjej kompisar det \u00e4r ocks\u00e5 en intressant fr\u00e5ga!
\nN\u00e5got som ni inte visste \u00e4r att jag va ”papps flicka” helt klart s\u00e5 va jag det alltid! Det finns s\u00e5 mycket jag vill ber\u00e4tta att jag inte vet vart jag ska b\u00f6rja men jag f\u00e5r f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka h\u00e5lla mig till fr\u00e5gan. Jag hittade lite bilder som fanns tillg\u00e4ngliga nu s\u00e5 f\u00e5r ni se f\u00f6r er sj\u00e4lva. Jag har massa bilder men dom ligger dessv\u00e4rre i flyttkartonger i ett f\u00f6rr\u00e5d efter flytt s\u00e5 kommer inte gr\u00e4va fram dom p\u00e5 ett tag men det kommer jag lovar. Sista g\u00e5ngen jag hade kl\u00e4nning va nog n\u00e4r jag fyllde 7 p\u00e5 en bild h\u00e4r. Direkt efter s\u00e5 sprang jag upp p\u00e5 mitt rum och klippte s\u00f6nder kl\u00e4nningen det kommer jag ih\u00e5g s\u00e5 v\u00e4l. Det va sista g\u00e5ngen n\u00e5gon valde kl\u00e4der \u00e5t mig, sista g\u00e5ngen jag hade p\u00e5 mig en kl\u00e4nning. Jag k\u00e4nde mig s\u00e5 obekv\u00e4m f\u00f6r jag va ju en pojke och inte en flicka! Sen Kl\u00e4dde dom ofta mig och min syster i likadana kl\u00e4der ocks\u00e5. Men p\u00e5 den tiden s\u00e5 ville man ju ocks\u00e5 ha allt som den andra fick. Min look va lite som Bam bam i flintstones och nick carter, pottfrilla! Men fan det kl\u00e4dde mig b\u00e4ttre \u00e4n l\u00e5ngt h\u00e5r. Klippte av h\u00e5ret i typ 3 \u00e5rs \u00e5ldern s\u00e5 jag har aldrig riktigt haft ”l\u00e5ngt” h\u00e5r!
\nEn sak som jag vill l\u00e4gga till det gl\u00f6mde jag skriva. Att jag sj\u00e4lv sa n\u00e4r jag va liten att jag hette kalle och att min snopp ramla av n\u00e4r jag f\u00f6ddes. Kan ni f\u00f6rst\u00e5 det stackars pojke! Lite gulligt end\u00e5..
\nSen drog jag en till story om att pappa r\u00e5kade klippa av mig snoppen ist\u00e4llet f\u00f6r navelstr\u00e4ngen.. Herregud! Snacka om vilda fantasier det fanns en tredje historia men den kommer jag inte p\u00e5 nu.<\/p>\n

L\u00e4gger upp bilderna som jag hitta nu s\u00e5 f\u00e5r dom tala f\u00f6r sig sj\u00e4lv! Gl\u00f6m inte att st\u00e4lla fler fr\u00e5gor \ud83d\ude42
\n\"11121776_10153087338615971_2005243694_n\"<\/a>\"11129760_10153087338560971_1293825272_n\"<\/a>\"11134283_10153087338775971_1243406653_n\"<\/a>\"11128695_10153087338765971_931436847_n\"<\/a>\"11132041_10153087338645971_720910432_n\"<\/a>\"11115934_10153087338515971_674425202_n\"<\/a>\"11116151_10153087352290971_1839823299_n\"<\/a>\"11129837_10153087338325971_622672783_n\"<\/a>\"11134298_10153092941530971_479626950_n\"<\/a>\"11134283_10153087352530971_161798732_n\"<\/a>\"11130433_10153087338190971_350260377_n\"<\/a>\"11088964_10153087338105971_133668185_n\"<\/a>\"11075063_10153087338290971_1907931182_n\"\"11104009_10153087352490971_1267830325_n\"<\/a>\"11129289_10153087352570971_2063924452_n\"<\/a>\"11128750_10153087338250971_898917323_n\"<\/a>\"11132070_10153087352620971_97143660_n<\/a>\"11093728_10153087338395971_96356267_n\"<\/a>\"11094425_10153087352660971_1139481478_n\"<\/a>Jag hade tre dr\u00f6mmar som liten det va att bli snickare, bartender och DJ! Guess what? Jag gick byggprogrammet blev snickare och utbildade mig till bartender men det slutade med tr\u00e4ningsinstrukt\u00f6r inte DJ \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

HOW OLD WAS I WHEN I CUT OFF MY HAIR AND STARTED TO USE BOY CLOTHES?
\nShit where do I start on this question, so fun!
\nI started back when I was in age 1-2 especially after three when I could choose clothes for yourself and it was always boys clothes! My parents dressed me up as a small princsessa and with girl clothes but there was cfourse guaranteed against my will. I’ve always been a ”boy-girl” nobody knew I was transsexual then or did knew my parents knew all the time? They loved me and accepted me regardless anyway it wasent about of gender or identity, it did not matter. I have always been special! Since an early age, there were clear signs of who I was. I chose not to become a girl I wanted to be a boy and have good looking boy clothes and kissing all the girls in school.
\nI really was a guy through and through, I went skateboarding, skates, BMX was a lot of sports, more kill stuff and so on. I did everything that boys are considered to do. I played with Lego and action figures, gathered in hockey pictures. My sister was playing with Barbies and collected bookmarks. I got right in and play once when I cut the hair on all Barbie dolls and pressed the breasts at them. Yes you hear yourself!
\nMy sister and I shared a room during a time when we lived in our house. Then she had the ”pink side” and the Spice Girls posters and I had the ”blue side” of mass Backstreet Boys everywhere!
\nSo damn funny when you think about it.
\nIt has never attracted me to want to be with the girls and play with them, I just wanted to hold them in their hand and kiss them. But you could not do that at the time it was wrong and strange. I was attracted to girls already in age 6. I always played with guys had most male friends, of course, girls also raised in adolescence. Today I have mostly girlfriends there is also an interesting question!
\nSomething you did not know is that I was ”Papps girl” clearly so, I always was! There is so much I want to tell you that I do not know where to start but I’ll try to keep to the subject. I found some pictures that were available now and you will see for yourselves. I have lots of pictures but they are unfortunately in cardboard boxes in a storage room after moving it will not unearth them for a while but it will, I promise. The last time I had a dress was when I turned 7 in one a picture here. Right after I ran up to my room and cut down the dress that I remember so well. It was the last time someone chose clothes for me, the last time I wore a dress. I felt so uncomfortable for me because i was a boy and not a girl! They often dressed me and my sister in the same clothes as well. But at the age you also wanted to have all that the other received. My look was like Bam Bam in flintstones and Nick Carter, pot haircut! But damn it clothed me better than long hair. Cut the hair in type 3 years old so I’ve never really had a ”long” hair!
\nOne thing I want to add that I forgot to write. That I said when I was little that I was named Kalle and my penis fall off when I was born. Can you understand the poor boy! Little cute anyways.. Then I pulled an story about my dad happened to cut off my penis instead of the umbilical cord.. Oh my God! Talk about wild fantasies there was a third story but I will not now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shit vart ska jag b\u00f6rja den h\u00e4r fr\u00e5gan va rolig! Jag b\u00f6rjade redan n\u00e4r jag va i 1-2\u00e5rs \u00e5ldern framf\u00f6rallt efter 3 d\u00e5 jag kunde v\u00e4lja kl\u00e4der sj\u00e4lv och det va alltid killkl\u00e4der! Mina f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar kl\u00e4dde ju upp mig som en liten princsessa och i tjej kl\u00e4der men det va ju garanterat mot min vilja. … L\u00e4s mer<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11151,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-261","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-my-transition"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/finnsbara1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/finnsbara1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/finnsbara1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/finnsbara1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11151"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/finnsbara1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=261"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/finnsbara1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/finnsbara1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=261"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/finnsbara1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=261"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/finnsbara1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=261"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}