{"id":66,"date":"2012-11-28T13:27:57","date_gmt":"2012-11-28T12:27:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/girlwise\/?p=66"},"modified":"2012-11-28T13:27:57","modified_gmt":"2012-11-28T12:27:57","slug":"laskigt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogg.improveme.se\/girlwise\/2012\/11\/28\/laskigt\/","title":{"rendered":"L\u00c4SKIGT?"},"content":{"rendered":"
Guy Talk<\/a><\/div>\n
THE I FACTOR: EMOTIONAL AWAKENINGS<\/a><\/div>\n
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Guest Blog: Paul N. Weinberg<\/p>\n

Several years ago at dinner, a close female friend was telling me about her boyfriend of four years, how much she liked him, what a good guy he was, how well they got along, and that they never fought. \u201cDo you think the two of you connect emotionally,\u201d I asked. A puzzled look, a pause, and then she said with a smile, \u201cI\u2019m not sure what that means, so I guess not.\u201d Four weeks later, she called to say she had broken up with him. \u201cBut you were telling me at dinner what a great relationship you had,\u201d I said. Her reply: \u201cOne morning I woke up and realized we were just roommates, that he didn\u2019t have a clue who I was. So I left.\u201d<\/p>\n

My friend was 28 years old, and I\u2019ve seen precisely this phenomenon over and over, women of approximately the same age describing the end of their relationship with a simple, \u201cOne morning I woke up\u2026\u201d And when I listen to women around this age describe their relationships, almost without exception, I can predict that their relationships are about to end. Not because there\u2019s anything wrong with the guys, but rather because the women are on the cusp of what I call an\u00a0emotional awakening<\/em>.<\/p>\n

More broadly, what I\u2019ve observed over the last 15 years with young women often goes something like this: In her early twenties, she typically dates the cool, hip guy with the goatee. He doesn\u2019t treat her particularly well and doesn\u2019t have much going on, if he even has a job, but he\u2019s cute, edgy, and fun to be around. Eventually, she decides she deserves better, and in her mid-twenties, starts dating a genuinely nice guy who\u2019s less exciting but more responsible, has a job, and treats her well. She can only say good things about him and the relationship, until\u2026 that\u2019s right\u2026 one morning, she wakes up and realizes he\u2019s not the guy for her. If she\u2019s lucky, she\u2019s 28 or 29 and they\u2019re still just dating. If she\u2019s unlucky and waited too long, she\u2019s 32, married with a kid or two, and about to become a single mom. Either way, she abruptly ends the relationship.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s Going on Here?<\/strong><\/p>\n

My personal theory is that somewhere between the ages of 28 and 32, women experience that emotional awakening. In other words, they start to wake up emotionally, to develop an awareness of what their emotional needs are, or simply that they have them. Meanwhile, the nice, emotionally unavailable guy they chose before they knew they had emotional needs \u2013 or what that meant \u2013 can\u2019t possibly meet them. And how do I know that the guy they were with was emotionally unavailable? Because if he had been, they would have run for the hills when they met him; his emotional availability would have been a total turnoff.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve run this theory by many women and it\u2019s resonated with most of them, but I wasn\u2019t sure if I was on to something until recently when I talked about it on a radio talk show. Later that day I received the following email from a listener:<\/p>\n

Heard you on radio today, my wife is going through that 28-32 year stage right now and we\u2019ve been separated for a month and a half; coincidentally this is the same timeframe my first wife ran off. I see a lot of divorces in the military and many are in that timeframe. I always ask how old is your wife, usually in this range. I thought it was my own theory till today. My wife agreed when I told her what you said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So what do you think? Does this ring true for you or the women you know?<\/p>\n

Next time:<\/strong>\u00a0Now that you\u2019ve woken up emotionally, how do you find an emotional connection?<\/em><\/p>\n

Paul N. Weinberg is the coauthor of\u00a0<\/em>The I Factor<\/strong>, an inspirational and aspirational book about connection in the age of social media.\u00a0<\/em>The I Factor<\/strong>\u00a0was recently published to rave reviews and endorsements from some of today\u2019s biggest celebrities, including Larry King, Jack Canfield, Marianne Williamson, and Sofia Vergara. Available exclusively online in print and ebook versions through Amazon.com and the Apple iTunes Bookstore.\u00a0<\/em>www.theifactor.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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