So you might wonder who I really am. There are many things I can tell about me, but this is not the actual occasion.
The really purpose of this is that I feel a bit down. What a surprise! No, but it is not fun to be at home anymore.
My family has really been a mess ever since my little brothers came to be and the divorce between my parents.
I don’t hate them, it is the actual opposite, but when you have been living for long seeing these events and getting aware of the urge to move out, it is just annoying to be with them.
I feel like they just get in my way whenever I want to do something. Like when I draw sketches in peace and they just interrupt to tell dinner is ready, or just them talking. How I wish my room was more sound-proof.
I have one solution though and that is listening to music on high volume, but not always will Metallica or Vivaldi help.
I do have other activities like taking accordion lessons, singing and going to a different Arts class, but when it is an early spring day like this one, my lazy butt rather stay inside.
My brothers might seem like me, ordinary kids living in a splited family, but we all have one thing in common. We all got a few disorders.
Autism and ADHD. Now I don’t want to blame myself or them having these, it is just a different programming compared to those not having them in my opinion.
I don’t have many problems with having ADHD and Autism, I actually have gotten better with how to interact and get a grip of my concentration. Of those who have met me and later heard of me having these disorders, comments like “I would never have thought of that.” or “Really? You seem fine to me.” were how the most responses looked like.
For peeps sake, not everyone has improved like me and gone from brat to decent. This is where one of my brothers get involved.
You see, my little brothers were born as twins. In the beginning no one predicted them to become what they are today, especially not one of them.
While it was proven one of them were just like me in behavior and such, the other one lost the ability to speak a language.
No, he is not deaf, actually he understands more than what you think. Since he can’t speak our native language or any, he tries to communicate in anyway possible to get attention, including shouts and different sounds.
Every morning when I got no school and he is around, I wake up because of him being frustrated for maybe not getting as he wish. When going up for school I rather not hear his stabbing shouts in my ears.
Explaining the whole thing is complicated, I wish that I could show you, but even if he is my brother, I do feel embarrassed of just openly reveal about him having a real hard time.
My parents struggled together to make it work, but when my mother left and dad had to take care all of us most of the time, also getting involved in what they fighted about, I really just want to hide and get away.
I don’t know if I ever was a part of the reason because of their seperation, but I still feel sorta guilty for what happened.
Now I just sit in my dark and unwelcoming room hoping the time to go faster. I might be whiny, but today I only got around 5 hours of sleep and it is me to blame.
Perhaps I can go outside soon and take a little trip with my bike to sooth my soul.