Oh my little love muffins, these past few days have been hard. We’ve had plans to go out to my grandpa’s summer house in the middle of nowhere to just relax and take it easy, but I’ve been waking up feeling so shitty that I keep pushing it to leave. Being away from home is really getting to me, and completely fucking up my routines. I haven’t been sticking to my diet because it’s so inconvenient for everyone else, and I know how ridiculous that sounds but eating only fruits and vegetables doesn’t really work when you’re invited to dinners or going out with friends.
I just want to go home at this point. I don’t know how to explain to everyone that I just feel terrible. Nothing has happened, I just wake up feeling like shit and it’s not the easiest thing to put into words when it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. I’ve been having such bad nightmares, and this whole tooth ordeal is still infected and hurting even after a week of painkillers and penicillin..
Sometimes I wish I looked how I felt, because then I wouldn’t have to explain myself to the people around me who look at me like big question marks when I say I feel like death, or cancel plans for no seemingly good reason. It hurts, and I don’t feel like pretending I’m ok today because I’m really not. Still, I have to pull myself together and go visit my grandparents because I really really want to.. It’s just that my body isn’t quite on the same page as me lately. Meh.. that’s it for this exciting post. Here’s a random picture from the other night at Aifur:)
