I’m so bored I don’t know what to do with myself..?! I can’t lay down without suffocating so I got up and here I am staring at the wall wondering what the hell I should do now. I feel like I should give up on trying to get anything done because I’m exhausted but my head isn’t quite on the same page. It seems very untimely to have all this creative energy and drive when I can’t do much but stay in bed.
I’m thinking there’s something psychological about that. Sort of like how you decide to quit smoking while you can’t sleep at 4am, only to smoke first thing when you wake up. Or how you promise yourself to start eating healthy, but on monday. It’s this far away idea of how awesome you think you really could be if you just weren’t so human. I imagine myself being this brilliantly creative and smart business woman with the drive of an energizer bunny on crack bringing home more money than I know what to do with. But I’m more or less always sick so I always have this ”excuse” to not be the best I can be, or on top of things. I hate that. I have to balance between not listening to that voice at all and really remembering that it’s there.
Ok.. thats enough rambling for tonight. I guess I’ll call it a night.
