Life goes on whether we like it or not, everyday you wake up with the believe the thought on your mind that what happened was just a bad dream or a nasty nightmare but no its not and that’s just the way it is, I was like this the whole first year when I lost my brother but then you start to pick up the broken pieces of your heart and put them together, just enough for you to go on through the day and then the next day you start the whole process again.
I was 12 years old when I saw my brother live in front of me getting killed and slipped away from this life altogether and I had some severe trauma´s after the whole fucking ordeal but I got over it, not right away, oh no, it took me almost another 12 years to overcome it and to be over it totally and I slept at peace finally when the revenge was totally taken by my hands.
The cops tried to get some information from me about the guys who shot my brother but I told them I didn’t see anything (although I did), and I knew them by names faces and looks, so the case was dropped as random gang liquidation with no witnesses.
My ma, my poor ma was really all of the sudden 40 years older and until this fucking day she wears black for her son, somehow she blames herself in the beginning that she could have done something to prevent it, but the fact stays the same (we lost Alijandro).
I entered high school and my first year was wonderful and as usual I made friends pretty quickly and was directly one of the popular guys in school and that goes back to my character which was funny clownish way of talking and behaving plus my toughness played a roll cause I was a guy who you shouldn’t fuck with not because I was so strong, no because of the group of guys who were standing behind me ready to jump at any possible opportunity for a fight and my brother reputation which was still active and notorious and the story that I survived a shooting without being touched.
My first high school sweetheart was Mary a chick from the Philippines a cute and petit little girl and she had the longest hair I have ever seen on a girl. Her hair almost touched the ground if she unfolded it, it would drop like a silk cloth flowing in the sweet summer breeze. Now as you all know these are the years where you get in touch with your sexuality and I like no others was fucking Horney all the time. I mean really all the fucking time like a sex addict with 10 Viagra pills and an unending lust that groped deeper and deeper inside of me that I didn’t know what or how to deal with it. Then comes the beautiful invention (jerking off) which would reduce and almost diminish your needs for while and then the old story back like new again.
My grades somehow after my brother´s death declined a bit but I was still doing well I was still always one of the top in the class but not like the way I used to have it before. And I was fighting a lot really madly crazily a lot; like a maniac and it didn’t matter to me if i win or lose I just did it for the sake of fighting until one day I had a fight with a guy and I literally whipped his ass like no other so he tells me to wait for him after school at the football field.
And I with my macho thoughts not caring nor thinking about the consequence agreed to him, but I was about to come to face a surprise that I didn’t hope or wish for!!!!!
I went to football field where we were supposed to meet but he was a no show and I had a B plan if he showed up with a group then my backup group would jump in in a second. Suddenly I hear a shout behind me and I couldn’t believe my eyes what I saw because that was definitely the last thing on my mind to see this but then again as I said fate somehow have a sick sense of humor how it brings stuff up that you wouldn’t imagine it in your fucking wildest dreams.
There he is the guy who got his ass kicked but not alone he was with a group of people and a head of them all was a guy holding a butterfly knife in his hand and was spinning it and twirling with it and his name was Gert Jan (one of the guys who shot my brother just a couple months ago)