1. You can always have more than 1 beer a night and not feel guilty
2. Beer doesn’t care if you’ve fallen asleep after you’ve had it
3. Beer tastes good
4. You always know that you’re the first one to pop a beer
5. After you have a beer, you’re only committed to dumping the empty bottle
6. With a glass, you can always get good head
7. When you say you love beer, you don’t have to mean it
8. A beer has no problems with you taking it’s top off
9. Beer has no mother
10. Beer won’t follow you around for a week after you’ve had it
11. A beer makes everything ok. A woman makes everything a problem.
12. A beer won’t get upset if you come home and have another beer
13. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car
14. It is easy to compliment a good beer
15. You can shoot a beer
16. Beer doesn’t want foreplay before you have it
17. If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells quite good for a while
18. You are never embarassed about the beer you take to a party
19. You can have a beer in public
20. A beer is always wet
21. A beer will always go down easily
22. Big, fat beers are nice to have
23. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer
24. A beer doesn’t think football is stupid
25. Beer doesn’t go crazy once a month
26. You can share a beer with your mates
27. Beer doesn’t demand equality
28. Beer stains wash out
29. Beer doesn’t make you go shopping
30. Beer always listens and never argues