To understand myself and the human soul.
The road to knowledge of the human being goes through self knowledge. One can only understand it in others if we understand it in ourselves.
// Soren Kierkegaard.
I’m thinking a lot when I’m alone during the day (mostly) by myself. Things that I in my wildest dreams had not thought of before when I lived in Sweden. Perhaps, also because I never was alone with myself. Because I was working full time and because I was always going out with friends or stayed captured around my boyfriends.
I never allowed myself to be really alone and refuel. As, Dalai Lama says, to spend a few hours by yourself every day brings new strength and energy to your soul.
Today as I was out a quickie to find some few things, its strange how things passes through me when I meet all kind of persons that have good knowledge or those who has not a single clue about themselves. I had to find: 1, hair gel. 2, search for light bulbs. 3, fix my extremely cool sunglasses that I got from my dear cousin.
This was what happened on my quickie, quickie daytrip: Hairgel I found 🙂 So, maybe it will be a ”wet look” tonite 😉 … The salesclerk was a cute woman with such a lovely voice that asked no questions about what I was looking for. I could do my steps in the store ( even dance..hihihi ) and she only said: Buongiorno and smiled.
– Like, hello … it usually is … like this:
I come into a store. I get attacked out of a salesclerk. I say calmly, quietly with a wide smile … – I just peeking a bit and I tell YOU, I F ….. I need your, help.
Then if I need help, they tell me accurately what I need and they’re running like machines. I know they would be specialists, but why can they not listen to me? Im the customer. If they have any intuition, they should listen first, and also look at me and see that I am a woman who knows what I’m after…. No hard feelings over this cute girlie in the hairshop but you know what Im talking about…. Aren’t you? 🙂
Lamps to find was harder for me. They did not understand. Anger is near as I chose to just leave the store and I find myself filled up with pretty thoughts about a particular person… ”tinklestar”
Some minutes after, heading to adjust my RayBan’s was an imposed project as soon as I walked into the store.
– Buongiorno, Signorina, … I said.
– I wonder if you could be so kind to help me to adjust my sunglasses at me, please. (Note: Vero is very nice and happy …)
Salesclerk: we can see. (Sour like a lemon)
I gave her my sunnies (and now I am even happier than when I came into the store:)))
She did not say a word only grasping my “sunnies” and walked behind a screen where another lemon lady rascal star was standing (two women in my age I guess, but they are certainly younger but they always look a little bit older here)
They start immediately, chatting a little with each other and looking over the desk with some little childish laughter… I can see everything and they see me. Ok, now it might not be that this childish laughter has something to do about me….maybe they were laughing about that someone of them had got a dick after such a long time and that she is merrily happy for this or some other funny things that could had happen last weekend…. he he he ( I hope).
I wonder why I have this feeling that they are laughing about me? Why should, they? … I wonder what’s going on in me that makes permit myself to make up such crazy thoughts? Though I have never in my life had such a feeling about women before walking around in Sweden, France, US or wherever I go… I have never been in situations where persons laughing about me, infront of me… ( this is hypothetical thinking; I cant of course be sure )
After 2min, the clerk returned, stretches over my fine “sunnies”. She says only, so now they are more fixed. I gently grabbed them and, yes they are more fixed, said to her with my Diaz smile. I thank her a lot and asking her kindly if she can adjust them so that they are more straight.
NOW she answers in a sour way: They are old. Is it your dad’s?
Excuse, me? … I said. Really trying not to be arrogant, but I continue to be Miss Kind. I say they are vintage and only the glass is worth 600euro (by saying this, she thinks that I am certainly cocky and that reminds me, it’s the same cost what she earns per month..) She looks at me like I was a liar and literally sniffs: There’s nothing more I can do for you. ( Ok, I dont even earn 600euro per month but Im not an unpleasant woman )
I say thanks and also buy a packet of lenses from her???
For what reason you have to be unpleasant, sour and answering to a pleasant and happy person in this way?
I will try to meditate my way to not magnify a moment out of my day, to get so upset over persons. However, I can not really not get carried away being angry, disappointed over something that should not even mean anything to me.
To start thinking again, AGAIN:
- That, when I meet persons, to think that there is so much more in every person, than that you could never see on the surface.
- I want to surround myself with loving people.
- That, wherever I am there are good people and good forces that I can move to.
First you have to become an expert on yourself – after discover your true self-image. Just imagine IF everyone followed these rules and roads…….