Varning för Stilnoct!

Jag har haft sömnproblem så länge jag kan minnas. När jag var några år gammal gick min mamma till en läkare med mig eftersom hon var orolig men de hade inga direkta förslag och min mamma är emot allt i tablettform som inte kan köpas på hälsokost. Givetvis har jag testat naturmediciner mot sömnlöshet men de har varit helt verkningslösa. När jag var 5 år gav min mamma mer eller mindre upp när det gällde att lägga mig tidigare än de själva. Hon tyckte synd om mig– att jag skulle ligga där ensam i ett mökt rum och stirra upp i taket i timtals. Jag fick ofta vara uppe till 12 och kolla på deckare och thrillers med henne, dock höll hon handen över ögon på mig så fort det blev otäckt. Innan jag lärde mig att läsa flytande brukade hon förklara allt som hände. Den barnvänliga versionen. Det är nog mitt bästa barndomsminne.

Jag däremot tycker att det är helt okej att ta en sömntablett då och då, bättre det än att ligga sömnlös och ha ångest för det. Däremot har jag haft svårt att hitta någon sort som passar mig. Jag hade någon slags blå tabletter jag köpte i USA som var fantastiska. De var inte alls särskilt starka, man kände sig aldrig yr eller konstig när man tog dem och man vaknade helt utvilad dagen efter, även om man skulle upp tidigt. Dvs en insomningstablett inte en sömntablett. De hade ingen tillvänjningseffekt alls.

De jag har testat i Sverige har antingen noll effekt(av typen allergimediciner) eller något som skulle kunna söva en häst- i stil med Stilnoct. Är det bara som jag eller är det så att tabletter allmänt i Sverige är antingen så svaga att de är i stort sett verkningslösa eller så starka att man egentligen borde vara inlagd för att få tillgång till dem. I USA finns det flera alternativa mellanting.

 Jag kan förstås bara tala för mig själv men jag fick hallucinationer av Stilnoct och kände mig även totalt förvirrad dagen efter. Morgan testade dem en enda gång och efter en kvart tog han mitt hår och drog det under min näsa och sade att jag hade morrhår och att man kunde göra olika djur med mitt hår. Om ni tycker att det låter mest kul kan ni läsa berättelsen nedan:


Här är en annan bloggerskas erfarenheter av Stilnoct:

”Jag har tänkt mycket inatt. tänkt på min mentala kollaps och vad som kan ha orsakat den. jag har ju mått dåligt länge men den senaste tidens problem har varit i en helt annan kaliber än tidigare. jag tror att detta beror på diverse substanser. det började för ett par år sen med att jag missbrukade imovane och stilnoct under en längre tid och även annan psykofarmaka. jag tror att detta var det som fick det att slå över i huvudet. när jag tänker efter så har det gjort sjuka saker med mitt huvud.

till exempel har jag vid ett flertal tillfällen vaknat, gått upp på toa och upptäckt att det sitter ett lik i duschen. ibland har det sagt saker till mig…sen kan jag hitta anteckningar där jag skrivit saker som ”lik på toaletten kan försvinna om jag talar korrekt och använder rätt rytm. kommer dock alltid vara någonstans i lägenheten. inte snäll.” en annan vanlig grej är att jag pratar i telefon med tex min pappa. vi pratar precis som vanligt. ingenting är konstigt. men så börjar någon jag är med (min stackars fd pojkvän that is) fråga ”vad håller du på med lina, vem pratar du med?” jag blir irriterad å säger till pappa att jag måste lägga på. när jag ska trycka på lägga-på-knappen på telefonen upptäcker jag att det är min hand jag pratat i. andra saker som hänt är att jag suttit i soffan och pratat med en kompis. vi har haft livliga diskussioner om allt från vår existens till musik sen säger mitt ex ”lina vad håller du på med? du skrämmer mig” jag vänder mig om å inser att jag är ensam i soffan…det är kudden och en t-shirt jag pratat med.
ibland har även pojkvännen visat sig inte vara där. så jävla förvirrat.

en massa såna saker har hänt efter att jag tagit (alldeles för mkt) imovane. det är kanske inte konstigt att psyket löper amok på en mer regelbunden basis till slut. förmodligen tar det ett tag att återhämta sig också. ångesten över saker jag gjort eller sagt det senaste året börjar lägga sig över mig nu. jag måste konfrontera all denna skit antar jag… bara ångesten över hur fan min arm ser ut är egentligen för stor för att jag ska palla.”

 

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